Christie, Agatha - Giant's Bread by Christie Agatha

Author:Christie, Agatha [Christie, Agatha]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Published: 2013-10-11T04:00:00+00:00

2

It was over! The plunge was taken! There was unpleasantness of course. Uncle Sydney was furious, not, Vernon was forced to confess, without reason. There were scenes with his mother – tears – recriminations. A dozen times, he was on the point of giving way, and yet somehow or other, he didn’t.

He had a curious sense of desolation all the time. He was alone in this thing. Nell, because she loved him, agreed to all he said, but he was uncomfortably conscious that his decision had grieved and disturbed her, and might even shake her faith in the future. Sebastian thought the move premature. For the time being, he would have advised making the best of two worlds. Not that he said so. Sebastian never gave advice to anybody. Even the staunch Joe was doubtful. She realized that for Vernon to sever his connection with the Bents was serious, and she had not got the real faith in Vernon’s musical future which would have made her heartily applaud the step.

So far, in his life, Vernon had never had the courage to set himself definitely in opposition to everybody. When it was all over, and he was settled in the very cheap rooms which were all he could afford in London, he felt as one might who had overcome invincible odds. Then, and not till then, he went a second time to see Jane Harding.

He had held boyish imaginary conversations with her in his mind.

‘I have done what you told me.’

‘Splendid! I knew you had the courage really.’

He was modest, she applauded. He was sustained and uplifted by her praise.

The reality, as always, fell out quite differently. His intercourse with Jane always did. He was always holding imaginary conversations with Jane in his mind, and the reality was always totally different.

In this case, when he announced, with due modesty, what he had done, she seemed to take it as a matter of course, with nothing particularly heroic about it. She said:

‘Well, you must have wanted to do it or you wouldn’t have done it.’

He felt baffled, almost angry. A curious sense of constraint always came over him in Jane’s presence. He could never be wholly natural with her. He had so much he wanted to say – but he found it difficult to say it. He was tongue-tied – embarrassed. And then suddenly, for no reason, it seemed, the cloud would lift and he would be talking happily and easily, saying the things that came into his head.

He thought: ‘Why am I so embarrassed with her? She’s natural enough.’

It worried him … From the first moment he had met her, he had felt disturbed … afraid. He resented the effect she had on him and yet he was unwilling to admit how strong that effect was.

An attempt to bring about a friendship between her and Nell failed. Vernon could feel that behind the outward cordiality that politeness dictates, there was very little real feeling.

When he asked Nell what she thought of Jane, she answered:

‘I like her very much.

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